What Is Anger?
Anger is a feeling of irritation or offense that arises when we don’t like something that is taking place. It occurs in different degrees of intensity – from mild irritation, to violent rage. Sometimes we can hold it, and other times we just let go. It may last a short time or it may continue on as a deep-seated bitterness and resentment.
Anger, itself, is not necessarily bad. It can be either destructive or constructive, depending on how it is used. However, all too often we see it expressed destructively.
The Bible reveals that anger is also a part of God’s nature. Since He is perfect, we need to see how He uses anger. We can then establish this as a goal toward which we can work.
God’s Anger
The Bible justifies the anger of God, yet warns against human anger. There is a good reason for this. God is perfect and holy, and therefore His anger is just and constructive. Let’s examine the nature of God’s anger:
1. He has understanding – “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!” (Rom. 11:33).
2. His anger is directed at sin – “God is angry with the wicked every day” (Psalms 7:11).
3. His justice is fair – “But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth” (Rom. 2:2).
4. His anger is patient and controlled – God is “slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness ‘ (Psalms 86:15, NIV).
5. He wants the transgressor restored – “He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance (II Pet. 3:9, NIV).
Where We Fail
Man’s anger is usually different from God’s anger. James 1:20 states, “for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Our anger is often dangerous and destructive because of a failure in the following areas:
1. We have limited understanding – Much of the time we only see a part of the picture. We don’t consider the reasons for the other’s behavior. Our own frustration clouds our understanding.
2. Our anger is directed at a wrong done to us – Our reaction is from personal threat or hurt, rather than a concern for righteousness and truth.
3. Our sense of justice is wrong – Whenever anger is in the judgment seat, what we think is the right way to react will be wrong. We can only judge correctly when we consider all of the facts in the right frame of mind.
4. We quickly lose control – Our anger seeks immediate vengeance. We act from emotion rather than reason. We strike out at the person who has offended us.
5. We seek to hurt rather than restore – Because of our imperfect love, we want revenge instead of restoration. Our main desire is to get the best of our opponent.
When Anger is destructive
If our anger does not contribute to love, truth, and righteousness, then it is sin. It is destructive to both our life and the lives of others. Anger leads to sin when it results in any of the following:
1. Seeking vengeance for yourself – “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath “ (Rom. 12:19, NIV).
2. Verbal abuse of another – “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18 NIV).
3. Concealing ill will – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:6)
4. Repressing anger – “Whoever hides hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool” (Prov. 10:18).
Anger Can Be Constructive
Many injustices have small consequences and can be passed over. 1Peter 4:8 states that “love will cover a multitude of sins.” Others are more serious and should be confronted. Anger can be constructive if we follow these principles:
1. Do not avenge yourself – Do not act out of personal hurt. God has promised to defend those who are treated unfairly (Rom.12:19).
2. Direct our anger toward the sin – Solutions come when we focus on the problem rather than the people involved.
3. Desire to see the offender restored – When a person commits a wrong, we should approach them with a spirit of meekness, and a desire to restore (Gal. 6:1).
4. Discipline must be according to scripture – Some offenses require discipline. It must always be according to scripture (Matt.18:15,16; Rom. 16:17, etc)
The result of uncontrolled anger:
We are warned in Ephesians 4:26, “In your own anger do not sin” (NIV).
Uncontrolled anger can have devastating affects in a number of areas:
1. It ruins our Christian witness – Uncontrolled anger destroys our testimony and reputation (James 3:9).
2. It destroys the peace of the church – It results in strife and division among the brethren (Eph. 4:31).
3. It hurts our loved ones – Our homes become a place of tension and fear instead of peace and love (Eph. 6:4).
4. Our attitudes are passed on to our children – Many attitudes and responses are learned behavior (Prov. 22:24,25).
5. We suffer physical consequences – Anger, bitterness, and resentment produce tension, headaches, colitis, ulcers, etc. (Eccles. 7:9).
You can control your anger
This may surprise you, but God makes it clear that you have the power to control your anger. In Colossians 3:8 we are commanded: “But now you must also put off all these: Anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.” These and many other scriptures reveal that God holds us responsible for our anger.
You may have accepted the idea that you just have a bad temper, that it runs in your family, or that it is out of your control. You must get rid of these false notions and accept responsibility for your behavior.
Let’s examine some of the conditions that will give us control over our anger.
Conditions for Control
1. You must desire a victory – We must see our uncontrolled anger as an enemy. Our attention must be focused more on this area of sin in our behavior than on the faults of others. We must be willing to repeatedly humble ourselves if we are to see anger defeated.
2. Ask God for help – We must confess a genuine need for God’s help. Our own willpower is not enough. When we approach Him in this condition. He will assist us. “Whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.” (Matt.21:22
3. Identity the problem areas – There are many possible reasons for a consistent anger problem. Bitterness from a situation in our life can cause an “angry spirit” to prevail. Pride can produce impatience. Insecurity and fear may cause us to use anger as a protection. We must examine ourselves to see what the root of the problem may be.
4. Bring God into the situation – We must allow God into the situations that cause anger in our life. We need an overall trust that “All things work together for good to those who love God” (Rom.8:28). God can use every situation for His glory and our good if we will relate to it in a proper way.
Specific Steps To Victory
The real test of our new commitment to bring anger under control happens when we begin to get irritated. In these moments, we become like gladiators pitted against our enemy. Whether we or anger will triumph depends on how we respond to the feelings of irritation. The first few seconds are the most critical.
During this time, our temptation will be to point the finger at the faults of others or center our attention on the external cause of our irritation.
Instead, we must stop ourself and apply the following steps that can lead us to victory.
I. Confess Angry Thoughts Immediately
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9).
Most angry thoughts are sin. They are filled with destructive potential. When you begin to get angry, immediately confess your thoughts to God. We must identify our anger as the potential enemy rather than the external causes that provoked it. Through identifying the true enemy (anger) and turning to God, we will sense a new control.
When we are free from the grip of our temper, we are then able to properly judge and react to the circumstances we are in. Remember – you must make this confession immediately since anger builds quickly.
II. Control Your Response
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Prov. 16:32).
What we say and how we say it will determine the direction of a conversation. Words are especially important when tensions begin to grow. Proverbs 15:1 tells us, “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” It is very important that we consider our words and our spirit before answering whenever things are tense. We are commanded in Romans 14:19 to “pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.” If we really desire peace and understanding. It is in the power of our tongue to produce it.
III. Forgive the Offender
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).
We get angry when we feel we have been offended or an injustice has been done. We must remember that we are all susceptible to error. We have all offended others and committed injustices. When we admit our own susceptibility to error, it becomes easier to forgive others.
Usually when there is conflict, there is fault on both sides. Ours may be less, but we are not without sin. Therefore, we must ask God to forgive us. We must likewise forgive others. It is wrong to be condemning of others when God is forgiving of us.
IV. Act In Love
“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44).
Conflicts are over issues, not people. Avoid centering in on the person and concentrate upon the problem. Avoid personal assaults. Our goal should be to correct the problem and restore the person. This must be done in a very sensitive way. We are warned in Galatians 6:1 to “restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” If we show the other that love and fairness are behind our efforts, they will usually respond.
V. Be Patient With Yourself
“But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth” (Psalms 86:15).
Uncontrolled anger is a deadly enemy. We must have an absolute commitment to see it contained. Yet on our way to victory, it is inevitable that we will experience some failures. When this happens, we must not give up. We must ask forgiveness from both God and those whom we offend. Then we must renew our commitment and continue on. Though we are making constant gains, full victory over anger may take months or years.
As we continue to apply the truths contained in this booklet, we will experience victory over anger.
-Christian Equippers International
Anger is a feeling of irritation or offense that arises when we don’t like something that is taking place. It occurs in different degrees of intensity – from mild irritation, to violent rage. Sometimes we can hold it, and other times we just let go. It may last a short time or it may continue on as a deep-seated bitterness and resentment.
Anger, itself, is not necessarily bad. It can be either destructive or constructive, depending on how it is used. However, all too often we see it expressed destructively.
The Bible reveals that anger is also a part of God’s nature. Since He is perfect, we need to see how He uses anger. We can then establish this as a goal toward which we can work.
God’s Anger
The Bible justifies the anger of God, yet warns against human anger. There is a good reason for this. God is perfect and holy, and therefore His anger is just and constructive. Let’s examine the nature of God’s anger:
1. He has understanding – “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!” (Rom. 11:33).
2. His anger is directed at sin – “God is angry with the wicked every day” (Psalms 7:11).
3. His justice is fair – “But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth” (Rom. 2:2).
4. His anger is patient and controlled – God is “slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness ‘ (Psalms 86:15, NIV).
5. He wants the transgressor restored – “He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance (II Pet. 3:9, NIV).
Where We Fail
Man’s anger is usually different from God’s anger. James 1:20 states, “for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Our anger is often dangerous and destructive because of a failure in the following areas:
1. We have limited understanding – Much of the time we only see a part of the picture. We don’t consider the reasons for the other’s behavior. Our own frustration clouds our understanding.
2. Our anger is directed at a wrong done to us – Our reaction is from personal threat or hurt, rather than a concern for righteousness and truth.
3. Our sense of justice is wrong – Whenever anger is in the judgment seat, what we think is the right way to react will be wrong. We can only judge correctly when we consider all of the facts in the right frame of mind.
4. We quickly lose control – Our anger seeks immediate vengeance. We act from emotion rather than reason. We strike out at the person who has offended us.
5. We seek to hurt rather than restore – Because of our imperfect love, we want revenge instead of restoration. Our main desire is to get the best of our opponent.
When Anger is destructive
If our anger does not contribute to love, truth, and righteousness, then it is sin. It is destructive to both our life and the lives of others. Anger leads to sin when it results in any of the following:
1. Seeking vengeance for yourself – “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath “ (Rom. 12:19, NIV).
2. Verbal abuse of another – “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18 NIV).
3. Concealing ill will – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:6)
4. Repressing anger – “Whoever hides hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool” (Prov. 10:18).
Anger Can Be Constructive
Many injustices have small consequences and can be passed over. 1Peter 4:8 states that “love will cover a multitude of sins.” Others are more serious and should be confronted. Anger can be constructive if we follow these principles:
1. Do not avenge yourself – Do not act out of personal hurt. God has promised to defend those who are treated unfairly (Rom.12:19).
2. Direct our anger toward the sin – Solutions come when we focus on the problem rather than the people involved.
3. Desire to see the offender restored – When a person commits a wrong, we should approach them with a spirit of meekness, and a desire to restore (Gal. 6:1).
4. Discipline must be according to scripture – Some offenses require discipline. It must always be according to scripture (Matt.18:15,16; Rom. 16:17, etc)
The result of uncontrolled anger:
We are warned in Ephesians 4:26, “In your own anger do not sin” (NIV).
Uncontrolled anger can have devastating affects in a number of areas:
1. It ruins our Christian witness – Uncontrolled anger destroys our testimony and reputation (James 3:9).
2. It destroys the peace of the church – It results in strife and division among the brethren (Eph. 4:31).
3. It hurts our loved ones – Our homes become a place of tension and fear instead of peace and love (Eph. 6:4).
4. Our attitudes are passed on to our children – Many attitudes and responses are learned behavior (Prov. 22:24,25).
5. We suffer physical consequences – Anger, bitterness, and resentment produce tension, headaches, colitis, ulcers, etc. (Eccles. 7:9).
You can control your anger
This may surprise you, but God makes it clear that you have the power to control your anger. In Colossians 3:8 we are commanded: “But now you must also put off all these: Anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth.” These and many other scriptures reveal that God holds us responsible for our anger.
You may have accepted the idea that you just have a bad temper, that it runs in your family, or that it is out of your control. You must get rid of these false notions and accept responsibility for your behavior.
Let’s examine some of the conditions that will give us control over our anger.
Conditions for Control
1. You must desire a victory – We must see our uncontrolled anger as an enemy. Our attention must be focused more on this area of sin in our behavior than on the faults of others. We must be willing to repeatedly humble ourselves if we are to see anger defeated.
2. Ask God for help – We must confess a genuine need for God’s help. Our own willpower is not enough. When we approach Him in this condition. He will assist us. “Whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.” (Matt.21:22
3. Identity the problem areas – There are many possible reasons for a consistent anger problem. Bitterness from a situation in our life can cause an “angry spirit” to prevail. Pride can produce impatience. Insecurity and fear may cause us to use anger as a protection. We must examine ourselves to see what the root of the problem may be.
4. Bring God into the situation – We must allow God into the situations that cause anger in our life. We need an overall trust that “All things work together for good to those who love God” (Rom.8:28). God can use every situation for His glory and our good if we will relate to it in a proper way.
Specific Steps To Victory
The real test of our new commitment to bring anger under control happens when we begin to get irritated. In these moments, we become like gladiators pitted against our enemy. Whether we or anger will triumph depends on how we respond to the feelings of irritation. The first few seconds are the most critical.
During this time, our temptation will be to point the finger at the faults of others or center our attention on the external cause of our irritation.
Instead, we must stop ourself and apply the following steps that can lead us to victory.
I. Confess Angry Thoughts Immediately
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9).
Most angry thoughts are sin. They are filled with destructive potential. When you begin to get angry, immediately confess your thoughts to God. We must identify our anger as the potential enemy rather than the external causes that provoked it. Through identifying the true enemy (anger) and turning to God, we will sense a new control.
When we are free from the grip of our temper, we are then able to properly judge and react to the circumstances we are in. Remember – you must make this confession immediately since anger builds quickly.
II. Control Your Response
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Prov. 16:32).
What we say and how we say it will determine the direction of a conversation. Words are especially important when tensions begin to grow. Proverbs 15:1 tells us, “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” It is very important that we consider our words and our spirit before answering whenever things are tense. We are commanded in Romans 14:19 to “pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.” If we really desire peace and understanding. It is in the power of our tongue to produce it.
III. Forgive the Offender
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you” (Eph. 4:32).
We get angry when we feel we have been offended or an injustice has been done. We must remember that we are all susceptible to error. We have all offended others and committed injustices. When we admit our own susceptibility to error, it becomes easier to forgive others.
Usually when there is conflict, there is fault on both sides. Ours may be less, but we are not without sin. Therefore, we must ask God to forgive us. We must likewise forgive others. It is wrong to be condemning of others when God is forgiving of us.
IV. Act In Love
“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44).
Conflicts are over issues, not people. Avoid centering in on the person and concentrate upon the problem. Avoid personal assaults. Our goal should be to correct the problem and restore the person. This must be done in a very sensitive way. We are warned in Galatians 6:1 to “restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.” If we show the other that love and fairness are behind our efforts, they will usually respond.
V. Be Patient With Yourself
“But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth” (Psalms 86:15).
Uncontrolled anger is a deadly enemy. We must have an absolute commitment to see it contained. Yet on our way to victory, it is inevitable that we will experience some failures. When this happens, we must not give up. We must ask forgiveness from both God and those whom we offend. Then we must renew our commitment and continue on. Though we are making constant gains, full victory over anger may take months or years.
As we continue to apply the truths contained in this booklet, we will experience victory over anger.
-Christian Equippers International
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